I haven't posted for a very long time, I'm sorry. Been caught up with quite alot of stuff...which I don't really like. I didn't indeed imagine my university life to be like this...it's a little harder to accept than I thought it would be. I want to be optimistic, but sometimes, I just find myself wondering what I am doing.

My sole motivation for studying is to get a seat for exchange program as soon as possible. I don't know what my chances are, I don't know when it can be...but I'll do my best and hope it is enough. However, more and more this days, I find that I am having to force myself to study, and do my assignments...yeah I know this isn't what I want to study in first place, but I had already taken the fact into consideration and thought economics is a good thing to use wherever I am in the world. But, when I think a little bit more, I realise than I am studying along with people who are doing their life's dream, people who have been wanting to do economics since long times ago, and are now pursuing what they are truly interested in and want to do in life. And in a university like mine, where grades are competitive...it somehow makes this task a little daunting.

But that doesn't mean I give up of course...even though my notes and math speak to mi in alien language...I try my best to get by.

On happier thoughts, japanese class is starting soon, right after my midterms. Although it means more time spent working, I'm looking forward to it greatly, I really wish to learn better a language I feel as beautiful as chinese. Language can express so many things in so many ways, and some languages can say things in such beautiful, touching ways...I wish I will be able to do that in more than one language some day. When you are faraway and apart from someone you miss, it may be hard sometimes to let that person know your feelings, so you express in words, as best as you can. Although we miss each other's presence, we can bring our feelings through in beautiful words and we find that, maybe...we are not that far away after all.

For now, I put my energy into my study, so I can achieve my goal. Or actually most of that energy is put into forcing myself to stay focused. But whatever it takes I will try, because this opportunity is important to mi. And if I cannot achieve it once, I will try again next time until I get it. That is my promise to myself.